Burning Cross
by Harakiri
Summary: Set after Ultimecia's defeat. Seifer's life has definately taken a turn for the worst and he's left to brood. (Seifer POV) rated for language


Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 (or any other for that matter) therefore I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fic. (Actually, I do own Seifer, Square just doesn't know about it yet XD) Don't try and sue me 'cause you won't get nothing'! *pulls out her empty pockets and watches the moths fly away*  
  
Harakiri: Hello all. This is my first fic here so I would very much like it if you would post some reviews after reading this!  
  
Leonardi: Helpful and constructive comments are appreciated!  
  
Harakiri: Hai! Anyways, on with the fic! Beware of angst.Shiranna jumped me and had me write this -.-() Also, beware of language.  
  
*~Burning Cross~*  
  
It's cold. I hate being cold. Yet, my favorite season is Winter. Yeah, I'm weird, so sue me. It's not like anyone could get anything from me. I am flat BROKE! Actually, broke is an understatement. Poor, practically homeless.yeah, that works.  
  
Why am I even out here? Lying on the beach in the middle of winter with nothing but a pair of worn jeans and a tank top on, sand getting in places that should be impossible to get to, and I'm frickin' freezing! Oh yeah, now I remember. Leviathan wanted to go for a swim. Damn cold blooded bastard. He can't feel a thing.  
  
Oh well. If I didn't oblige him he might leave me too and then I'd really be alone. That would suck.major. But, then again, wouldn't I deserve it? Don't I deserve it? Maybe, but I'm too afraid to find out.  
  
Yes the great Seifer Almasy is afraid of being alone. Ain't that a trip? The Sorceress' Knight afraid of being left behind with no one to care about him. I can just hear the mocking calls. Wait. I hear those every day. Nevermind, no big change. But I'm still scared.  
  
Ever since I came back to Garden I've been a wreck. Oh sure I didn't look like it, but looks can be deceiving. Everyone still thought I was the calm, arrogant bastard I had been and maybe I still was, just a little. But, you know, people do change, but I guess they didn't really want me to. They just wanted to hate me.  
  
It's not like I don't understand. I mean I nearly destroyed Garden and a lot of people, my once fellow students, died because of me. They probably think I have no remorse, but I'm not like HER. I do have feelings and a conscience, tho I don't really listen to it all that often. Stupid me, but I AM the arrogant bastard of Balamb Garden. But I just wish they knew how much my feelings hurt me. How they're eating me up inside. Maybe then they could, if not forgive me, at least tolerate me and not act as if I was a pile of shit they'd just stepped in!  
  
Yeah, like that'll ever happen. Squall pretty much ruined that. That damn bastard! I finally pass the damn SeeD test and then he just goes and says 'Oh look you passed. Amazing, but you still failed.' Uh-huh, stupid son of a bitch! No offense to his mother with that comment of course, he's just a total prick!(1)  
  
He knew it was my dream to become a SeeD and he knew I worked so hard to pass the damned test then he just tells me I can't become a SeeD?! I mean, I took the classes, didn't get into any fights, hell I didn't even so much as bat an eyelash when those little bastards began their daily routine of name calling and beatings. I was a good boy and I'm pretty sure I did the best impression of a punching bag anyone's seen in years, but no. None of that mattered.  
  
Stupid mother f#cking asshole! It's all about revenge, plain and simple. I gave him hell so he takes away the one thing I really and truly want, the one thing that could've made me happy. He makes it seem as if I took something from him. What-f#cking-ever! All that bastard did was GAIN. He never LOST anything.  
  
He got a girlfriend who is totally and completely in love with him, and is also an air headed bimbo who probably doesn't even know how ugly she is, he found his father and got back his past, he became Headmaster of Garden, and he had his friends with him the whole way. Yeah, he's suffering REAL bad. And the poor suffering Lionheart decided that, as punishment for taking whatever I did from him, I should not have my dream fulfilled. Instead I was to be thrown into the lion's den a.k.a. Balamb town.  
  
I hate this. Why did she choose me? Why did I give in?! I guess I am the weak little boy she was always talking about. But at least I'm still not completely alone. Mr. High-and-Mighty Headmaster was nice enough to let me keep Leviathan, even if it was only because he didn't want to keep him. Sad really. Leviathan is beautiful, especially when the sun hits him just right. His scales are like a prism, reflecting the colors of the rainbow.  
  
He looks like he's having so much fun out there in that freezing cold water. I wonder.if I stood out there long enough, would I freeze to death? You know, hypothermia or whatever it's called? Or maybe a really big wave would come crashing over me and pull me out into the ocean and I'd never be seen again. It's really tempting to try.  
  
But.Leviathan's stuck with me this long, the least I can do is stay with him, right? I dunno. Hmph, looks like he's done "frolicking". Time to go back home to my rat hole and feel miserable. Joy. I.I just hope I can resist the urge. It's just.it's so hard to. I mean, when no one cares if you live or die, what's there to live for, right?  
  
(1) I figured Seifer would have found out about Squall's past or whatever and I happen to like Raine so I didn't want people to feel like I was insulting her so.yeah.  
  
'Would you like reviews with that?'  
  
Harakiri: YES PLEASE! ^^ Well, minna-san, how'd you like it? I must admit I'm fairly pleased with myself, but I'm kind of paranoid about Seifer being OOC. I don't THINK he is, but I'm not too sure. If he is I'll just blame it on the severe depression. Yup.that's it. Review please or I'll send a horde of evil demonic chibis after ALL of you. Either that or Hoteri, your pick. ^^ 


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